Chasing Familiarity
For 18 years, my kids and I lived in a 2400 sq. ft. 1974 ranch home that was renovated in the 1980s. Recently, my daughter bought a new home after looking at many houses. I first saw the house online and sent it to her as an option and in my mind I knew she would love it. She went to view it with a friend and said it was the one.
She purchased a 1400 sq. ft. 1985 ranch home. When she first showed me in person, she said, “This sorta reminds me of our home mom.” I smiled and said, “It really does.” Her high school friend came to see it and said something very similar. Bascially, it felt familiar.
I am buying a new home myself now. It came down to two options priced very similarly. I kept being drawn to one that was more than I needed but felt right. After sitting on it and thinking and wondering, it finally occurred to me. It reminded me of a place I had rented after selling the home referenced above. It was a two story garden home with very similar features. I enjoyed that home and this house was bringing back that familiarity.
Familiarity feels safe. It feels comforting.
I had a dream for several years about what I was going to do when I became an empty nester. I’ve been an empty nester over a year now and can’t pull the trigger to do it. I sat in uncertainty that felt very uncomfortable all this year. Then one day something drew me to a new path that when I step back and think about it, is me chasing familiarity. I want a part of my life back that I had before. I just want it differently.
I want to hold on to the safety and comfort of family. I want to focus on that family in a different way now. It’s not what I planned. It’s what the universe led me to when I sat and waited in uncertainty.
Related Readings:
Losing site of the shore
Grace and Permission to be unsure
Back then I was so damn carefree